How to pick a star

... without standing tiptoe?

It is when I walk to the library every morning, knowing that there will be someone booking seats for me. When someone wants me to sleep more because I couldn't get up early, on time, and worry if I want to walk home alone late at night just because I couldn't finish studying. Someone who wants to make plans with me. Or chat with me online and even came over to meet me before I leave. And sending me texts and huggies. Knowing that, I can get the warmest smile once I touch the ground, I have a breathe of milk this morning.

I, have been thinking of going home the moment I reached Dublin last September. Going home soon is the only motivation for me to stay strong. But there are these people who I wish to put inside my pocket where ever I go. These people that I will call just because I fell on the floor or lose my notes at the exam hall. These people that count down together with me. Feeling happier than me that I get to go home. Telling me they miss me so many times that I can keep and bank in when I go home, so it would be enough i miss you for 2.5 months.

Then, there are these people who are happy too that I'm going home to see them although the last gathering was just like yesterday. And some that couldn't make it to go home. Sometimes life is so not like the way I thought it is, and that makes me want to turn back and become small again, like those days I can cycle around without holding the handles. Those days that I only have to worry about not finishing my homework and get caught. Worrying if I can't finish my noodles before the recess ends.

But it is often that someone or something that makes me change my mind to be positive. To see things out of the tiny black dot and notice the big white piece beside. To sometimes keep me quiet or makes me laugh non stop. Medicine, is really a tough thing. Studying it kills my brain cells, in an excited way though it almost drain all the spirits out from me, and just couldn't make me stop feeling proud that I have made it this far. Another year is gone, far before we realise. Perhaps I should just enjoy the every moment, because time is going by faster and faster and dropping my memory disk on the floor.

I thought I want to go home so badly, but I already start missing some pieces of dublin. I put up two of my recent photos so 1. mm n ren can recognise me at the airport and 2. you can look at me when you miss me slightly more than usual.

Do you want me to pick a star for you? It is finally my turn to take a break. I want a good night sleep beside you tomorrow. Under the same night sky :)

- Bern and I @ dinner after exams-

-me @ abe's hse, by fi's new camera-

To all the you I have.

if being quiet is what a grown up does, I think I'm not far from there.