A Time.

Time, is what I need, and, I thought what everyone else needed. Realising the fact that I am not giving people around me enough of time, I know, we don't live to please everyone, to please ourselves, to follow the rules blindly, to concern about crossing the boundaries, not exceeding the abnormalities, not to over-react.

But why am I finding it extremely difficult for not making everyone else happy? PP preached a lot today. He says a coal can only become a Diamond when it's under tremendous pressure . Do you want to be a diamond or stay as a coal ? Misery is part and parcel of our lives. We will only be grateful and appreciate how things happen after a helluva loads of hard works, sweats and tears.

Choosing to avoid of course won't help, but dampen and slow down the recovery state. And stress eating is evil indeed.

There are a lot of things that I would never want to tell and explain, but if I don't, nobody would understand. Why can't I manage my time well when everyone else did, within the 24 hours we all have equally? I might learn a lot and being able to do a lot from what I couldn't, but I know, I have lost a lot and forgot a lot of being myself, as the time railed by. I so very want to give my time to my friends, my family, my studies, my dreams and everyone else. I know it hurts when I say I am busy so talk to you another time. I really know but you are not the only one having problems, I have mine too even when I say I am ok. I am not super optimistic like some people. I might be trying hard to look at the brighter side of things, but not as much. People ask me not to let my emotions take under control, or rather be too emotional. I doubt that won't happen. A very good friend told me then, that emotions are what that build up my super special personality, it's not the case to push down and hide all my emotions, but rather bring out the good sides of them from the sheath covering, just like the yellow maple leaves, trying to cover the torn brown soggy ones along the road.

So I waited, I gave them some time, and myself some, before ending it in a nutshell and start to crave for nuts and collect sea shells.

Well well anyways, just a stop right here before going really serious for exams. I wish to carry less problems, causing less problems and for happiness. There was a saying, don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. So I won't cry because it is over, but smile because it happens because the people that worth my tears won't make me cry.

I'm having Japanese oral exam tomorrow. Wish me luck before the only thing I can say is wakarimasen (I don't understand).

p.s: I dream and see colours again in my dreams, so meaning I'm still super creative yeah? yay!!<3