19.

As you can tell, I am those kind of person that drench in the past at times. wenyen said during meihui's birthday, that I am super highly overly bubbly and that she was like this- as the loudest too when she was still 18. Just being a year older than last year, I think so too however. I become so less organised, but so stick to my own rules. So from now, Courier font would be MY font for emo posts. Yeah, that means there will still be more emo posts. *come on, I know we are suppose to be happy but there will still be emo posts right? I don't mind being an emo princess seriously, so DON'T try to preach me too much.*

The today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. So many todays. So many. Today I got my parcels delivery notice from the post office. I was so angry that they didn't try to press on the door bell while I was at home the whole week waiting for them. Today I had a hard boil egg and a snicker and am super happy. Today I thought I would just accept the way the irish work and treat it as a way of burning my fats when carrying the parcels back. Today I smile at you. Today I don't. Today I do not care about making my accounts anymore because my mood is not good. Today I am so angry because I am tired(not drunk) so I spent money buying Hunky Dorys which I can buy 5 of them with the same price in Malaysia. Today I know, for exam convenience sake, don't care and buy dry food like biscuits and cakes and breads.

If all these happen last year, I would have laugh out loud and jumping up and down with the delivery notice because I can soon, eat my luncheon meat and talk or laugh as much as I want, care or not being lady-like since I have zero talent. Is it just me that laugh lesser year by year? But I do, when I see you people like you. So please pull me out from this tiny cubicle. * I know I know, I will walk out myself, just having pms now.*

Saw this from pinkpau su ann's blog.
"among the obvious and more generic pros, there’s this one extra special benefit to being a happy, smiley, naive person. ditto that for being the youngest. why? because people tend to think you’re easy to bully if you’re young and happy and smiley. and oftentimes, by some strange twisted version of an inferiority complex, they also tend to assume that you’re kinda dumb. and that you’re easy to manipulate because you wont see it coming or are too nice to retaliate even if you did. so.. somewhere in between all the camwhoring, the fake smiles and all the false support, they let down their guard and they show you their true colors. all the while thinking you’re too dumb or too naive to see it. and that’s when you see who all the ugly people are. and that’s how you know who to avoid."
[http://quaintly.net/; 14 November 2008; 28 November 2008]
*omg why am I doing citation?!!! In a wrong way somemore..* But my point is, is that why we are no longer HAPPY like we used to be? Happy here means super happy no worries that kind.
*I know I know, pp definitely going to say all those hardship is the mm for success or something like good days never last and bad days will also pass*

19 years of life, I never miss home so badly. At times I wish to be like super cheerful and optimistic yinye who NEVER had homesick for the past 18 months staying away from home but I guess this is the uniqueness of our personalities right? Sometimes I just want to go back because I know. pp will definitely be trying hard to dig me out from my blanket at 10am for breakfast by kissing me, he will be fighting over the tv and I have to let him have it because of the same reason- he seldom watch. mm will laugh at me and says I talk a little too much but will still listen to all my little stories of the day, and also praise me in front of her friends, at my back of course so that I wouldn't inflate. And I would never be in cold at night or having headache in the morning because dajie would take off my glasses, cover me with the blanket and turn off the lights, and even scold me but still help me to fold the clothes when I pretend to be sleeping. Ah ren will be ordering drinks for me just because I am too shy to talk to the mr stranger aka waiter, and show off to his friend of my college year book and say, nah happy luh my friends say you are pretty although you are not! And then duoyan who would ask if I want anything from the shops before heading off for tuition and suprise me in the morning with a lovely breakfast, or just pull his mattress over at nights when I go home. I would then go look for popo who will be slaughting fish at the back, just to say hi and then call gong gong and ask if he is coming back for dinner when popo asked me to do so. Then ah ma will cook her famous bak kut teh or nasi lemak although I will be complaining of not having appetite and ah gong who speaks limited english would still pick up the phone with an i-phone card to call the cousins at new zealand and india and now is my turn to get calls. Little cousins(especially ling and mag), big cousins, happy uncles and aunties and serious *scary* uncles and aunties. I do not care anymore (because I don't think you do) if any of you read this because right here right now, I just want you to stand in front of me and listen to me or make me listen. But no, now I want you to listen to me from here because this is the only way I am going to say it to you. Was so tempted for 3 seconds, to change my flight date and go back straight after exams in the coming mid May when mm asked two days ago but no. Because, I am going back with the money that I'm going to earn during summer, and this time, let me pull pp up from the bed and drive you for breakfast ( I doubt I will drive unless you get me a kancil?) and tell the world that I have the best mm on earth and let dajie turn on her air-con for a little longer and will be able to answer ah ren's questions about biology, history anything and make sure duoyan is full and happy with the food I am going to get him instead of sharing a set with me just because I think it's too expensive to get two.

But first thing first, I am going on a diet after Monday and PLEASE encourage and motivate me too!! * Aha! I know you are definitely going to faint or whack me perhaps when you read this and say "OMG, can you stop it?! You are the skinniest person I ever see!! Ok, besides xxx." But I would say PLEASE! You don't know how it feels for being teased and seeing the unbelievable eyes looking at me when I first gone back for summer. Proof of evidence? NO WAY I am going to put up pictures like that here. You can call me vain or anything I don't care~


Never intend to let anyone know about my deepest darkest thoughts because I don't want to let you know and worry. But, I couldn't take it anymore because I don't have a teddy bear right now. Besides, joonhi sent me a link saying that 5 Malaysian doctors are found to have mental problems due to stress every year/ month I can't remember. So I am just trying to relax, and pull down the percentage. I think keeping everything inside is more damaging right? *so no worries*

2004.

He used to take pictures with me like this.

2005.

I told him he look so cute can in that previous picture. So he tried to pose the same. *cute*

2008.

See that?! He is so "cool" and big boy now so cannot simply anyhow smile so big like me!

2007.

We even took random pictures like this!!!!

Story behind the picture: I saw him taking off his socks after co-co activity just like this! Making the full use of his both feet because he needs his right hand to hold the chips and the left to flip the comic. So I asked him to wear it back and do it again, SLOWLY this time because I want to take a so called candid picture.

*tears*

Leng zai brother.
*proud*

Look at the long hair.

* loves*

**dunno if you will kill me when you see this candid picture, but I am very emo now okay? It was taken from the side anyway. I know you hate me with my endless excuses :P**

And two little cousins zewen and zexin who were so excited to send out their first ever e-cards.

I like this one!

Happy Birthday,

If I could sail the oceans,

I'd visit every land,

And I'd cross so many beaches

That my shoes would fill with sands.

I'd see exciting places,

And eat far-out lunches, too...

But I know I'd never

Meet a guy

As wonderful as you!

I don't know how I spent more than a month for spm or any other major exams I had before but now, these 2 weeks are taking my breath off. Staying in the room whole day long doesn't mean studying for the whole day. Never on the laptop or read unrelated books doesn't mean studying for the whole day. But how I wish studying for the whole day means remembering everything I studied. So out of no where, I decided to turn on rainbow and read the birthday wishes I got on that very special day of the year in my life. And that really makes the U shape on the mouth turning into a V. I learn one thing by the way- Don't expect as suprises are always around us but not when we need one. Just like how I got a super nice card and letter from sulynn! Maybe being too deprived from family love stimulates my greed over love from friends. Too greedy at times and often wanting for more and more.* I know I know this is just sometimes and MOST of the time I am happy and contended and cool NOW ok?*

Sorry to you who read, if I make you emo or feel urgh this stupid girl ah again. I know no one will now comment and say, hey! I like this post.:( Em, if not you can go and click on the link to yinye's blog and read hers? :)

OK (in a bannigan way) get a life. I am now proudly announcing that there is only 1 more paper left in 2 days time and there you go, my desperate holiday moods. And I am ok now, so don't spam me with your concern emails because I am stealing some study time off to do something that I shouldn't be doing whee~ *ok luh.. maybe one or two and I'll listen*

Happy days people. I am 19 ALREADY oh.my.gawd.

p.s: have been looking for a white simple and pretty looking background template for this blog and this is the best I can get for now. whee again~

p.p.s: oh! it's not white.

p.p.p.s: I couldn't talk less and only speak wise, but I can talk more and try to hit on the chances of being wise?

p.p.p.p.s: sorry ah, because I keep changing the background so some of the previous posts font colour might be blur and similar to the background colour. Em, maybe I'll edit when I am free? Maaaaaaybe.

p.p.p.p.p.s: it's minus 2 out there and I am shivering like nobody's business. Yet, I am not going to wear thicker because I am lazy. You think I should get a slap no?

p.p.p.p.p.p.s: OMG, no more p.s or anything, GIT exam is not over yet!!

*shake heads*