starry starry night

actually, i don't know. i don't know if i am right to choose medicine, to do medicine in ucd, a 5 years course instead of a twinning programme. even going out or staying at home or answering a demanding question, or not replying an email. it is just an instinct, instant decision, that i couldn't rehearse or knowing whether this path is correct or not until i make it till the end.

but somethings will leave you a book behind. a book with stories of uncertainties, regrets, imaginations, privacy, rights, and unanswered question marks. time really flies as you grow. without leaving you much choices. it's like when i see a primary student, or secondary student, college student and first year uni freshmen, i'll have a big bang from the back of my head to tell me that no you are not underage anymore. or it is like you lost something and you know the more you think about getting it back, the more you won't see it again. but what can you do when there is nothing else to do? whether you cry or not, it just won't help.

you can imagine yourself doing all the right things, getting all the enviousness. not hating what they have done to you. ignoring all the bad things they have done. smilling even if you don't want to. say yes when you wanted to say no. say no even when you feel like doing it. but in the end, it will be just like a chewing gum. looking good before you start to chew, with a slight freshmint taste and some green tea in between, and then turn powdery as you chew longer. longer lasting taste wouldn't stop you from spitting it out.

tell me, how is it like to get a sms ( i prefer that than phone calls) when you are not expecting it? what is it like to say idiot and hang up the phone? to purposely walk to school so he will give you a ride back home. to go online to see if he left you any offline messages. to pretend that you never care when he tells you there's a pretty girl in his college. I know. i am reading too much stories. i prefer chinese love stories than english ones. sometimes english ones just make me think that all they want to do is to go to bed. so eww. so not romantic. but also, i've learnt that these stories are liars, the best and worst liars of all human's creation. i don't know what am i talking about.


-fi told me nissin cup noodles are very nice but i didn't want to spend money for that in ireland. i'll just pick it up and look at it and imagine myself eating it. *too much for an instant noodles* then not long ago i saw it again at tesco and i've decided to give myself a treat. it was so sunny when i feel hungry at 11pm that night. it was exciting to see the noodles expand. so salivating to see the noodles dropping out from the chopsticks. but in the end, it was just an instant cup noodles. nothing more than that. not really satisfying. what makes me satisfied is that i was right not spending so much for that.-


-primary school choir competition at subang parade. it was 10 years ago when i joined sjk(c) yoke kuan's choir team. there was a funny song that sounds something like a tortoise tripped over as i like to shower?? (direct translation from chinese) what a weird song -.* -

-pmc's pdo at legend hotel. i like this place though it's too big to walk alone from the lobby to ballroom 1-

- huiyee dyed her hair and her lecturer didn't say anything T3T i should have gotten that rasberry PINK stethoscope omg T3T-

you must be wondering since when i like pink stuff or things like hello kitty or cute puppy or pink nail polish instead of black nail polish. well, no i don't really like pink stuff. it's just.. something wrong with me anyways.

- tim's gf sing siang is so tiny so cute! and yy, if you are reading this, victor gained some weight and he put the blame on his shirt and pants-

2 more days left before going back to dublin. i don't like the idea of travelling alone. i never like the word alone, except leave me alone ;p i used to skip meals if i have to eat alone. but i guess this 2 years of overseas-uni-have-to-grow-up-now life is helping alot in defining and concluding doing things alone is not too bad afterall.