Now

i touched down at 10.40pm yesterday. was still very hyper at 1am when we were at his house celebrating her birthday. the house was cold, i think the boiler was frozen. and i woke up this morning to see the house is still cold. ate some cereal and stopped munching on rich tea biscuits when my throat hurts. drank 3 cups of tap water. skype with pp. unpacked. skype with cdying. read a little. wondered if i should put myself on-call for the following week. went back to bed and laid on my face. woke up to see the sky turned dark on my right. my right eyebrow looked weird. it's hamster's birthday today. wishing him over the time difference is somewhat time travelling. i don't know what to eat for dinner and i'm not hungry. a message came in. when will listening to me make you cry? thought of the old man who ordered boiled rice only. thought of the boy with trisomy 21 who returned my smile at manchester airport. went to get another cup of water. thought of what i did at this other time last year. i was suddenly back there. thought of what i'm going to do this other time next year. i can't see through the future. can't blog about the uk trip yet because i don't have much photos in my camera. looked outside the window and saw dark clouds moved pass the moon like flying flocks. pp "tsk tsk" me when i told him i'm going back to sleep after i'm done with unpacking but i think doing what your heart tells you to is what you can do when you are having a break. i am not tired. i don't have to look at my phone when i type. the loudie bear is not dancing. for a second i want the whole world to mute. he told me about someone else being different now. you told me i am a little different. indifferent i suppose. cold, quiet, quiet in both types : not wanting to talk and do not know what to talk about. i think i am tired now.

-i miss this thing-