life, every minute is borrowed time.

Outside, the sky was black. Black enough that I could see my own reflection on the glass as I turn on the lights.

It's strange that I feel exhausted after the weekend trip. Maybe it was because of the whole day walking in keukenhof garden, or maybe it was because of the 100% full-time alert I had in the city that is legalised in everything, or just because I have to end one daydream after another, and back to the 41 more days before summer, is truly summer. I'm not complaning about getting ready for school again, just perhaps it is ridiculously hard to find a reason to smile. Falling asleep more easily, and I start to believe that silence is not a void that needed to be filled, because nothing important has to be say. I recognised the silence after the night I joined earth hour. If possible, the room seemed quieter, more intimate in the darkness. Losing in thoughts, taking in the sounds and sights of just, what is in front of me, I can't feel the need to speak. Especially when, I don't believe anyone in sharing secrets that much anymore.

That's why I like being in a single room, I like being away, and stay in my own single room. Where I can plan my things ahead, missing someone, dozing off amidst all the hustles and last minute studies, and filling up the silence, with just my shadow, spreading out after me on the wooden floor, on the left, moving and shifting. Filling into the atmosphere that nothing has to be said, filling into the subtlest world of being alone, not lonely, and being part of the house, along with the tapping sound of the foodsteps up the stairs and sounds of fingers moving quickly across the keyboard.

Reading stories about Adrienne Willis and Paul Flanner, I think I should write down my exam dates here so I will be spending my nights studying, but not in Rodanthe.

Friday, 8th May- Cardiovascular and Renal Disease 12-2pm Saturday, 9th May- Disability 12-2pm Monday, 11th May- Genetics 6-8pm Tuesday, 12th May- Principle of Infection 3-5pm Saturday, 16th May- Cancer, Chemotherapy and Immunopathology 6-8pm

31 days to the first paper, and Japanese would be earlier. Countdowns are not exactly useful at times, though I can't deny that it does make me panic and excited about the fast-forwarding time, but who can guarantee if there will always be a tomorrow? Even when you had just one yesterday. I think I can hear fiona saying " be more energetic!" again.



I wish, I can grow up faster.